Friday, July 24, 2009

In Depth Bio: Larry Ingleberry

Larry Ingleberry rolled down the hill his village was perched atop at the tender age of two into a neighboring village.  His stroller was quickly confused for a dumpster and trash piled up on the baby for years until a WIZARD came along and adopted this intrepid baby who had by this time blossomed into a beast of a man; feasting on trash and occasional plastic bag filtered rain water.  

The WIZARD, forcing him into work to help offset the costs of his belated Alchemy research, grew to hate the man-child with vehement fervor.  Communication grew to a standstill and the WIZARD thenceforth began hiding Ingleberry’s face filter, used at the Asbestos Manufacturing Company where he worked in the developmental division, quality testing scented Asbestos.  

To Larry’s benefit he contracted and was recently diagnosed with Mesothelioma and has been collecting worker’s compensation checks every two weeks that pay all bills incurred by all inhabitants and pays the rent on the apartment.  It totals roughly 559 dollars every month.  He still lives (with the others) in the studio apartment that the WIZARD first brought him to all those weeks back.             

The moral fiber of the bunch, Larry Ingleberry was raised catholic.  However, Larry constantly invokes random deities at the slightest slip in his children’s misbehavior.  This includes but is not limited to: not cleaning the Hibachi grill adequately enough, and eating only half a string cheese then putting the rest back because it was the last one and you don’t want to be responsible for going out to get another pack and you think someone will just come up and not be able to contain themselves and eat that last half and then it’s their problem.

Brief Intro Of Characters

Open on Chet Soda, roughly between the ages of 19 and 76, a Taurus by profession.  He lays sprawled, pantless on a series of unsheeted mattresses that cover the entire floor length of his studio apartment.

In walk his boys, four in number, and each carrying a load of books bound with leather belts.  They are: Graham 11, Najide-Hasapeedapedelon 16, Bruiser 22, Sergeant 50.  As with every afternoon upon returning from school, they remove their shoes and pants and join their father in a circle around the hibachi grill which lies in a cut out in the middle of the mattresses.

As if this scene weren’t picturesque enough we now introduce Larry Ingleberry.  He’s just come back from cashing his bi-monthly mesothelioma settlement check.  And removing his pants takes his place among the happy grillers.  His boys are late in arriving because bowling practice ran late after school and in his check cashing induced mania Larry forgot to pick them up, (read; meet them at the bus stop).  Hence they were wandering around the hallways of the complex for a good twenty minutes.  Larry’s boys are as follows; Barns 6-11, Eight 18, Maple 42.

The My Boys and Me Clan is now complete.  Pantless, they sit laughing and joshing and grilling up tonight’s dinner.  Looks like chicken, but uh oh!  Where’s the BBQ sauce!?

The wizard hid it!  The wizard who comes out of the bathroom laughing with a crudely drawn treasure map that appears to indicate the BBQ sauce’s location.

This is the dream.