Friday, August 14, 2009

In Depth Bio: Maple

Maple is a 42 year old boy who couldn’t be more thrilled with life. He’s the only blond haired boy in the family and has, from a distance, what appear to be freckles. In actuality, they are burns from fry grease that his father flicked into his face to achieve the effect. He carries two dolls and is punished by Larry when their pretend sex appears too vigorous. Maple has wanted a swing his whole life but is so terrified by the thought of going backwards that he’s never dared get on one. Still, he likes the idea.

Each morning Maple takes the bus to the mall in preparation for his career as a vagrant. He has a leadership roll among the early morning retirees; a mish mash of elderly walkers that use the Mall for its ample light and CinnaBons. Sadly, around noon, the mall is overrun by a more territorial retirement group, and Maple’s crew is forced to relocate to a rival shopping center.

Sandy blond hair, an indented chest and grease burns are the trademark characteristics of this boy. He was a pre-me baby and his father makes him acknowledge it every morning before he’s allowed to have his warmed up, mixed up, chocolate milk.

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